The Rubber Band Effect: 3 Steps to Stop Your Twin Flame from Withdrawing

BLOG POSTS The Rubber Band Effect 3 Steps to Stop Your Twin Flame from Withdrawing
In this teaching on Twin Flame Relationships, you will learn:
✨The shocking reason why your twin flame is running (it's not what you think)
✨The secret thing your twin desperately wants but will never tell you
✨What you must do when your twin is withdrawing to speed up the reunion
✨How to overcome the urge to contact him when you're separated
✨How to bring your twin closer instead of pushing him away

It’s finally happening: your twin flame texts you and asks you out. You have a hot reunion period; he’s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know he’s so happy to have found you.

Then something happens. Out of the blue, he pulls back from you. Maybe he doesn’t mention seeing you this weekend, or he gets off the phone a little earlier than usual. His texts feel colder or just "off." 

You sense a shift in how he is with you, and it's frustrating and even scares you in a way that feels almost paralyzing!

You might be thinking:

“What is wrong with me?” 😭

“Why do men always chicken out when a relationship starts to get real?” 😭

“What did I do wrong here for him to disappear on me like this?” 😭

As a woman, our first instinct is to try to fix the situation by getting closer to him. We’ll ask him what’s wrong, call him, and start worrying.

When your twin flame walks out of the room, you follow him.

When he wants to do something alone, you go with him. 

When your twin pulls away, you worry about him and feel sorry for him.

When he needs quiet, you continue to ask him what’s wrong. 

But all this will actually push the male twin flame further away.

Most female twin flames fail to manifest a CONSISTENT twin flame reunion (a wholehearted, long-term commitment) because they don't understand The Rubber Band Process. Knowing this is your secret fucking weapon in love! If you don't have my eBook "Get Your Twin Flame Back" download it below, as I explain in more detail how to manifest twin flame reunion fast:

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Truthbomb: men are not women with bigger, hairier bodies. They have much more testosterone in their bodies than you do.

In general, the male twin flame needs more space than the woman because the nature of testosterone is separation, independence, and autonomy. But, at the same time, bonding is something women are naturally good at, which can cause much frustration and confusion.

But the fact is that as part of the intimacy cycle, most guys will need to “regroup” after a period of intimacy (say after your weekend getaway).

Your twin flame has spent energy fulfilling your needs and needs time to regain his power. He doesn’t want to be responsible for anyone else for a while and needs to take care of himself, and THAT IS OK!

This is normal and is NOT necessarily a sign that he is a narcissist who is "baiting" or "gaslighting" you.

The secret to ensuring your twin flame distance is only temporary is to let go of your efforts to bring him close. This seems counter-intuitive and frightening since it feels like you might lose him. 

But that’s NOT the case; it's the opposite because of The Rubber Band Process.

The Rubberband principle is based on The Law of Vaccum and works like this: when a rubber band is stretched, and if the other end stays put, the end being stretched WILL have to bounce back to its original position.

In other words, when your twin is pulling away, as long as you don’t chase him and try to cling to him or judge him for withdrawing, he WILL bounce back to you re-energized.

I made these illustrations to make this process easier to understand:

The rubber band process 1

The image shows the first phase. He's pulling away, withdrawing, going cold, acting strangely, or maybe he’s not being as affectionate. But, if you allow this distance to existing without trying to "fix" it, he will bounce back to you very soon.

I like to explain it like a Thanksgiving dinner where we have eaten A LOT of delicious food. Our bellies are so fucking full that we need to lay down on the sofa, rest, and digest the food before we can eat some more. It’s NOT that the food tasted bad. We simply don’t have more space to fit it. 

Your twin flame needs to MELT the food (the intimacy) before he is ready for more. So, don't panic, he will come back!

However, only some women can handle this distance. They are unhealed and can't stand uncertainty. They feel like something "bad" will happen if they don't take control and fix it.

So, out of fear and ignorance, the unhealed female twin flame does the very fucking thing that destroys the bouncing-back process. They get needy, clingy, jealous, and insecure. They nag, complain, judge, and start chasing him.

the rubber band process 2

Let's go back to the thanksgiving food dinner visualization again. Your twin is lying on the sofa, trying to melt the food.

But instead of letting your man rest on the sofa and digest the food, you will push him to eat more. You can’t stand that he needs space, because, if you haven’t healed, you’ll see any sign of distance as a threat and start fighting for your worth.

So, you're jumping on his stomach while screaming EAT MORE OF MY FOOD NOW! 🤣

As a result, the male twin flame has no choice but to run away instead of bouncing back. But now, he will stay out much longer because he fears you don't get him or his needs and finds you too demanding.

Of course, you can't blame him for that when you have repeatedly proven to him that you don't respect him or the rubber band process.

Can you see now that it isn’t so strange he is withdrawing and mumbling that he “isn’t ready”? 

You don’t have to be caught in this awful cat-and-mouse game with him one more minute of your life. 

The chaser and runner phase, the push and pull, and the hot and cold dynamics that play out in twin flame relationships are easily fixed forever once you understand this process and lean back.


Here’s how to give your twin flame the space he needs while handling your own vulnerable feelings so that he’ll naturally want to come close all by himself!

🔥Step #1: Be the Emotional Leader

I have said it before, and I will repeat it: you have more power than you think in your twin flame relationship.

As a woman, you're the emotional leader, and in this case, that means giving him the space he needs.

I know. It’s really fucking hard to do, but it’s the proper reaction.

When your twin flame steps back, he creates a gap between you, which is very hard for women. To make it worse, the male twin flame often pulls away (without reassuring the female twin flame) precisely when a woman wants to create intimacy.

The rubber band cycle comes naturally to a man in love - he might not even realize that he tends to pull away every time the relationship becomes more intimate.

You need to be smarter than your hormones!

Even if it feels hard, allow him to snap back into the relationship when he feels ready.

Just stay where you are. Give him the space he needs. If you stick to this, it will make his return 200% faster.

Trust his leadership, and don’t question him on this. The more you want to talk about it, the more he wants to pull away. 

So, embrace the distance between you two right now. It's only temporary if you ALLOW it to be temporary!

Accept it and work with “what is” instead of resisting it and trying so hard to change it that you make your twin flame come back and step up.

Don't act on your old impulses to reach out to him.

Don't be threatened by the tension.

Don't panic; he will come back!

🔥Step #2: Lean The Fuck Back

I stress to my clients daily the importance of space in a relationship. Clinging to your twin flame doesn’t give the relationship room for growth and depth.

If you are a newbie to this concept, check out my powerful Leaning Back blog article for more information.

You shouldn’t be scared of space. Space gives room for your relationship to flourish. Freaking out doesn’t. The male twin flame will go through an intimacy cycle before he can go deeper; each time, he needs to get away from you to process his feelings.

If you are deadly serious about reuniting with your twin flame, you need to take this knowledge deep into your heart and let it stay there. You need to be comfortable with allowing space, so he can step in. 

The rubber band effect means that every time you and your twin are getting into a deeper level of intimacy, even in a marriage, there will be a short separation that will follow the intimacy. 

For example, it’s natural that a man needs to regroup a little after he has gotten married and come home from the honeymoon. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong, it just means he needs more time than you do to process his feelings and this deeper level of intimacy.  

The idea that all “stages of separation” people are experiencing during their twin flame journey will end for good is an illusion. 

There will be periods of separation even in a Union, it will just look different. Maybe he is taking space by playing video games or hanging out with friends. 

The difference is: you will FEEL differently about the separation when you feel 100% comfortable with leaning back and allowing space so he can step in.

If you freak out every time your man needs to rubberband, you will create so much unnecessary drama, fighting, and conflicts in the relationship that it might lead to a breakup or divorce later.

When you come to a better understanding of men as opposed to reacting out of your hurt ego and lack of knowledge, you will understand why the male twin flame pulls away and can avoid the behavior that will cause him to pull away for good. 

Often women, in their anxiety, assume that their twin flame is pulling away when what he’s doing is just living his life. This is a normal rubber band effect that most guys go through.

When your twin flame is not giving you attention, you are responsible for providing yourself attention and filling yourself up with energy so you don’t feel needy and clingy.

Get happy, and you will get more happiness. 

And being happy is a choice you consciously pick every waking moment of the day.

the rubber band process 3


🔥Step #3: Don't Punish Him When He Returns

When your male partner snaps back into intimacy like a rubber band, he will be loving, caring, and unphased by the period of distance that he just went through... if you allow him to.

Unfortunately, this is the phase where women's intimacy fears might fuck up the rubber band process.

When your twin flame bounces back, do NOT punish him by:

👉Bring up the past and old mistakes

👉Being cold, triggered, and resentful

👉Make him jealous by flirting with other men

👉Reject his physical affection like holding off sex

👉Pushing him away when he hugs or kisses you

👉Saying hurtful things or making sarcastic jokes

👉Complaining about him with friends, psychics, your mother, etc

👉Ask him why he is treating you so badly

👉Label him as a jerk, asshole, narcissist, or psychopath

Remember that the main reason why men pull away is that it is embedded in their natural biological cycle!

So, don't pull. Instead, let him stretch, and he will return to you when he reaches his elastic limit. 

the rubber band process 4

Punishing your twin flame after he stretches away will make him fearful the next time he feels a need for distance. This results in a toxic intimacy cycle between twins, also known as the runner and chaser phase.

If leaning back feels hard, you need to work on your insecurities and heal the root cause of the abandonment/trust issues that makes you associate separation with pain. 

With space comes tension, just like you would see when you pull the rubber band in two separate directions. But the further you pull the rubber band apart, the more strongly it will come together, creating an even closer relationship.

What brings your twin flame in, entices him, and invites him to WANT to be with you in a committed, close way, is how you make him FEEL.

Instead of being triggered and reacting to his coldness and manifesting that coldness within you, reignite your flame.

Focus on your own warmth, your own safety, your own warmth, and your own body. 

Repeat this mantra inside you:

"I love him. I love space. Space is good. Space means our relationship will deepen and move to the next intimacy level."

Then, let that warmth in your body and heart chakra. Imagine that radiating out and warming up the space around you so that you don’t need his warmth. 

That is the trick: not needing your twin's warmth because you have your own!

He will shift if you meet your twin flame with your warmth rather than your anger and coldness after separation. The whole relationship will change because you have shifted. 

So, stoke your own fires. Be hot when he returns. See what happens.

the rubber band process 5


Do you want to learn more of my powerful secrets to help you heal your twin flame's commitment phobia so you can finally manifest the blissful reunion you want? 

There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):

1. Download my free ebook Get Your Twin Flame Back, where I share my well-proven 3 step method on how to break the separation stage and manifest a twin flame reunion in 30 days or less by embodying feminine energy. Over 5000 downloads!

2. Sign up for my newsletter, and get the latest twin flames, dating, relationship, and ascension advice to empower yourself and bring your twin closer. Unsubscribe at any time.


3. Want to learn more about the psychology of the male twin flame and how to inspire him to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY? Then, get my powerful self-study program, Make Your Twin Flame Obsessed with You, for only $7 (for a limited time)

make him obsessed with you program

4. Click here to read about our twin flame reunion success stories. Grab a cup of tea and binge-read what other women just like YOU have achieved with help from my tools. You're in good hands when you come to us; our track record of 500+ reunions isn't a record to sneeze at!

Just READING our testimonials will activate a "Wow, everything is truly possible! If she can do it, so can I 🤩"  attitude within you, which is crucial for high vibration so you can manifest a twin flame reunion. Some women have displayed phone texts, calls, and dates with their twins from just VISITING our high-vibrating page!


5. Have questions? Comment below or send me an email to support@vionahaven.com and my team of certified twin flame teachers will help you create a personalized step-by-step plan to manifest a twin flame reunion in this lifetime as fast as fucking possible. 


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Viona Kali Haven

Viona Haven is a NO BS psychic coach and the authority on twin flame relationships and 5D ascension. She is the CEO and founder of her company Manifestation Diva and has helped 500+ women to reach a twin flame reunion.

Viona Haven and her company are leading the charge in teaching twin flame relationships and building female boss leaders who are devoted to global healing and changing the fucking world. The return is a twin flame love, massive mega impact, and 6-figure brands that give back. 

Viona Haven has completed her twin flame journey and lives in full union with her twin flame. Her favorite drink is hot chocolate with whipped cream because "all the cool adults drink it".

When not coaching her students into goddam goddesses, Viona can be found barefoot in nature, sunbathing by the pool, eating salted caramel ice cream, or watching Netflix documentaries about serial killers. She is a digital nomad traveling the world in a 4x4 camper van with her partner and dog. She’s never been happier.


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